In Many Points
- I swear if you were to ask me to name the days I could laugh consecutively for 10 minutes, it will be April Fool days. Yesterday’s joke was a little too much because I receieve a variation of this message from people: “Fuck you! Ass!”
Adeline had a false alarm from Cupid while Azirah just had to sit in front of the television watching the 1 hour Chinese news at night. Then a couple of my colleagues and friends got fooled into the fact I am going to shut down my blog.
But the fact is, in order for anyone to force me to shut down this blog, they will need a court order — lawyers’ letter don’t work on me. I won’t evenconsider shutting down this blog just because maybe some assholes dislike the way I say they are assholes. Am I making sense?
- I met William yesterday and I thought it was a April Fool from the heavens. Though he maintained the outlook of a reserved guy, he’d changed. He seemed to lose weight — which I don’t see it good because he’s already slim.
I hope to bump into Kelly and James Wong on the street because I hear words they had kindduva changed in appearance – which I seriously doubt so. And perhaps Hidayah… Bernard… and erm… Shirgin and Elijah? And oh, Christopher.
- Work was more hilarious than I thought office work was. I receive an average of 30 queries a day and it is enough for me to publish an encyclopedia. Then I will name the encyclopedia: The Great Book of Just for Laughter.
I mean, you get people calling in enquiring on “ElderShit” which they could pay by “MediFuck.” I mean, man, youcan only pay ElderShield through MediSave Funds!
And not to mention I get comprehensive history lessons from people who just realized their newly found hobby – chatting with Customer Service Officers.
What about a caller who wanted to change her name and halfway collecting her details, she wanted to change her children’s name, too. I mean, hell, it is okay if it is a child. But children?! “Ma’am I think it is better if you come down to our office.” I AM GOING TO KNOCK OFF FROM WORK AND I CARE ABOUT THE FACT YOU WANT ME TO CHANGE THE NAMES OF YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY.
Oh hey, I am telling you for the sixth time that my name is Jun Jie and not Jun Ji. Or Junie. Or Ju Ji. Or June. Or Jan Jie. OKAY. ENOUGH. Call me Mr. Lim. Maybe I should have heed the advices of my mother to myself christened.
ANOTHER IMPORTANT POINT: FUCK YOU, OLD MAN. I AM NOT A CHINA MAN. AND MY FUCKING NAME ISN’T ANYTHING LIKE A CHINA MAN’S NAME. If technology allow us to facsimile a tight slap across, I would do that IMMEDIATELY after what that man said to me. I almost wanted to whip out a British accent. Or speak to him in Sinhala lanaguage and let him know I am actually from India.
I am also sorry for my blooper. I just can’t stop laughing when I said, “You may want to check your mom…” What I meant was, “You may want to check your mail.
Hell, for the 832, 496, 159th times, the voucher will be sent by May. Not March. Not April. Not June. Not August. Not September. Not October. Not November. NOT December. JUNE — The sixth month of the calendar year. UNDERSTOOD?! Old people. just. want. to. challenge. the. young.
Eileen was instantaneous to calls. “Good Morning, Great Instant, Eileen Speaking.” I really believe I was working with Great Eastern.
What happens to people who specializes in ElderShield and Dependants’ Protection Scheme lines? Jason, my colleague is one good example. “Hey, you sure you want to go Tampines?” I ask. “It is really far for you.”
“It’s Ok. I have DPS.”
“Dude, that’s totally beside the point.”
- See, I told you I am capable of publishing one encyclopedia myself.
well i make sure i will pronounce it correctly soon … real soon haha…
eileen
April 3, 2008 at 1:12 AM
great instant. thats priceless.
synyster
April 3, 2008 at 2:38 PM